YIELD
by May Masangkay

July-August 2008

LA PAMILYA

As I sit in the comforts of my home, I wonder why people would entertain thoughts of killing oneself or another. Surely, there are a number of things that could have triggered them Ð uncaring parents, manipulative friends, scheming officemates, failures atÊ school/work, family pressure, etc. One could never really analyze the root cause of everything.

I remember the latest tragedy that struck Japanese society Ð a man who decided to go on a rampage, killing people in random in the busy electronics mecca that is Akihabara. Media reports point to various causesÑit was the parentsÕ strict way of bringing him up, it was the inferiority he felt in his workplace or school, or the fact that he relied on the Internet as his best buddy... I guess the list could go on.
Maybe if we were in his shoes, going through the same things he did, anyone of us could have been him?

The thought gives me a shudder.

Which is why as tragedies like this happen every now and then in Japan and other parts of the world, I find myself reflecting and contemplating more about my own life and profusely thanking God for one of the most beautiful gifts He has given me: FAMILY.

It is so unfortunate when I see the sanctity of family under attack. Like a wardrobe or a brand new Gucci bag that could be replaced or left neglected for years.

I cannot imagine how my life would have been without my family, without memories of a loving, caring, and sometimes over-protective dad and mom through my growing years.

No matter the little shortcomings that parents may have, as do all parents and us children, our parents have equipped me with the necessary armor to overcome all battles Ð that armor that is to love and forgive someone unceasingly and to give not counting the costs.

I have always been told that you cannot give love if you have never been loved to start with. I feel that is true. If I had not been showered with the overflowing love of my parents, I would not have been the person I am today.

And I have the Lord to thank him for this gift. For molding my parents to be who they are, to be good parents to me, and hopefully, like a beautiful cycle, I, too, would be the same to my children (should parenthood be my calling).

Looking at parenthood, parenthood entails so much responsibility. I am probably stating the obvious, but the older I get, the more I appreciate all the toils that my parents had to endure just for me, the more I feel so little at how my parents gave so much to me not counting the costs.

Some may say that "good for you, your parents were superb, but ours are tyrants." Maybe. But I always think that if we can see our parents in a different light, if we change our mindset, if we ourselves change, the whole picture can change. Instead of looking at their fault, why not magnify the good in them?

Like seeing a glass that is half-filled with water as a glass that is half-full and not half-empty.

This sounds like musings of a child in celebration of Happy Father's Day or Happy Mother's Day. But really, it's not one day of the year that we should have this commemorative day. Everyday is a day to thank for the blessings we receive, to thank Daddy and Mommy for their presence and to say "I love you."

If not today, when will you say it?

Nothing is permanent in this world, and while we can, let's be the best daughter and son. That's something I try to remind myself when I go through mood swings and disagree with my parents' arguments and assertions.

So, thank you, friends, for your parents, for teaching you the art of patience and forbearance to read through my article.

Cheers to our Pamilya!

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January-February 2008
I search the Net and almost always find some eye-catching news on Britney Spears and her antics, or in Japan, the endless tale of corrupt bureaucrats and politicians with Defense Ministry's Takemasa Moriya hogging the headlines. On a lighter side, popular young actress, Erika Sawajiri, became the favorite target of critics after she appeared at the premier of her movie ''Closed Note'' and looked upset. She gave short, impolite answers and sometimes cast a glaring look at the emcee. The Japanese media made a big fuss and slammed her impertinent ways.

Although I am no particular fan of these people, I find it unfortunate how people would gang up on someone. In Japanese, the term is  "fukurodataki", which literally means beating up. Maybe they deserved it, maybe not. Who are we to judge that? How about a second chance to correct their ways?

Which reminds me of a recently aired Japanese TV drama depicting the toils of a young high school girl who becomes the classroom target for bullying, another type of "ganging up" that seems to go deep into human psyche and is very complicated.

In Japan, bullying remains a serious problem. An education survey showed that the number of bullying cases acknowledged by Japanese elementary, junior high and high schools jumped by 6.2 times to 124,898 in fiscal 2006.

The media continue to report of students killing themselves because of being bullied.

In the drama, the heroine is the victim. But as she faces the ordeal head-on, she finds friends to support her and her aggressor ends up replacing the heroine as the next target of classroom bullying.

But what I found most striking was the last line of the heroine when faced with her former aggressor. Naturally, seeing the aggressor being bullied, one would think of joining the others in bullying or not help her out at all.

The heroine did neither and was honest in saying that she could not yet quite forgive her former aggressor for all the hurts but that she would not join the bandwagon of bullying because that would just continue the vicious cycle.

If it is not me or you, then somebody will be the target of bullying. How did that thinking come to be? Why does someone have to be the sacrificial lamb? Why do these things happen in classrooms?

These questions continue to be part of a debate as school authorities, parents, governments and concerned parties try to seek a way out of this doldrums.

I wish people would be like the heroine in realizing things won't end if no one makes an action to change things. Reforms always come out painful but we can't let things happen the way it does if it will continue to hurt people. Where is the love? (so sings Black-Eyed Peas) After all, we were made to love and care for each other.

I don't know if I am in a reconciliatory tone because of the recent Christmas holiday season. Things can get really sweet and rosy when we talk about love, understanding, thoughtfulness, sharing. But I believe this is the real face of human beings.

Despite the hurts inflicted by our loved ones, despite the traumas we experience, despite a melange of problems, there is always something to hope for, something to rejoice in, something to smile at.

So, what I try to remind myself is to act based on faith which is always in line with the principles of love and respect.

Let's not yield to peer pressure to treat our friends as bullying targets and treat each other as brothers and sisters.

We are family!

Let's be happy and in love with life -- and each other!

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July-August 2007
BUILD A PARADISE
How do you build a paradise?
 
I've always asked myself that question, looking at the people who are wanting, who cannot eat three meals a day, who have never experienced living in a house.
 
How do you tell them not to worry about the future -- that God will provide for them? How do you convince them to continue praying and believing in Providence? How do you assure them that everyone is part of a big family that they can depend on and really cares for each other?
 
Poverty, especially one that has been lingering for decades in countries such as the Philippines, is so intricate and deep-rooted that one cannot do it alone.
 
One person can pitch the idea and initiate a movement but many are needed to help it grow and flourish. And with a problem like poverty, we are racing against time. Every minute, a child goes hungry, a child is left to the streets, a child is forced to make a living out of theft, lying or other criminal involvement.
 
Maybe he has no parents to depend on. Or maybe his parents have all but given up to working hard in light of the harsh realities. They must think no matter how you strive hard and honestly, the gap between the rich and poor hardly narrows. Or maybe they were cheated out of their money or paying for loans that just seem to be burgeoning?
 
Whatever the circumstances, the reality is there. We need to accept the reality of battling poverty and face it.
 
How do you start? Where to start? When to start?
 
For me, I've found that Gawad Kalinga (GK) is a great way to face this battle. I'm sure there are a host of programs for the poor, projects to help uplift the lives of the needy, initiatives that empower them. But there is something special in GK.
 
In May, Fr. Leo, a priest at St. Anselm's Catholic church in Meguro, brought along with him 8 youths from Japan to take part in the Gawad Kalinga Build to actually take part in building GK houses. Also recently, Filipino jazz singer Charito visited along with her students a GK site. More and more people outside of the Philippines are coming to see the good work that has flourished.
 
And this has now come up onscreen with a GK movie trilogy: Paraiso -- Tatlong Kwento ng Pagasa (http:// www. gawadkalinga. org/gkmovie.php).
 
The film features veteran actors such as Maricel  Soriano and Cesar Montano who have been supportive of the GK cause as well. The film tells of real-life based testimonies of GK. For example, Cesar's segment tells the story of a man who lost his wife in the Sept. 11 attacks and carries on his wife's will to help the poor.
 
We are called to different missions.
 
For you, it may not be GK, it can be something else, something with a different name. But it leads us to only one cause -- to build a paradise for us all so that no one will ever go hungry, jobless, sick, or penniless.
 
So, for starters, how about taking one step like watching the GK movie trilogy, or going to the ground to work with the poor, or helping build a house?
 
It's not only about building a house or a community; it's about building the future of the poor people and yours as well. Because when everyone gives "less for self and more for others", there will be "enough for all."
 
And that definitely makes a difference.
 

March-April 2007

When I was young, I used to be ashamed of being a Filipino. After all, being a Filipino meant being associated with domestic helpers, undocumented workers, construction workers, and a host of others that just seem to flaunt their lowliness. I couldn't be proud of my country for all its tainted image of corruption, poverty, crime, and lawlessness.

In the eyes of a 10-year-old true-blood Filipina, who grew up in Japan and embraced this East Asian country as her home, the Philippines was a third-world nation that just did her damage -- it made her inferior, insecure and always longing for acceptance among her Caucasian and Japanese friends. It was not enough to speak the King's language the way her American or British friends do or to act and think the way they did; she always felt like a second-class citizen, or even worse.

Over the years, having returned to the Philippines and immersed myself there for a good 8-9 years, I have since grown out of that box mentality and seen the beauty and pride of our culture -- how we seem to be happy and persevering amid adversity, how we reach out and care for our less fortunate brothers and sisters, how we can still be hopeful in the face of Remings, Millenios, and whatnot.

But then again, after leaving our country and seeing it from afar, I see the screaming images of corruption, political chaos and despair. Parang wala ng pag-asa (as if there is no more hope). As if everyone tacitly approved this status quo and no one wanted to change it because anyway, that's the way things are. It was so disheartening and shameful that many of us including myself seemed to lose hope of seeing our nation rebuild itself.

HOPE. It's interesting to reflect on this short four-letter word. Don't we tend to take this for granted? When one loses hope in the things he does, in the life he leads, the end result is most often suicide as is the cases of people here in Japan. A father fails in his business, he hangs himself and leaves his family to despair, in some cases, he brings his family with him to the door of Death; a girl is bullied incessantly, classmates and teachers are oblivious or aware but silent, until the day comes until the girl chooses to end it...by ending her life.

And this is where I feel we Filipinos are different. Although there are still people who may contemplate or have committed suicide, by and large our people still strive. Kaya pa, kaya pa, we can do it, we can make it, we say to ourselves. Our mothers or fathers go abroad, we work 24/7, all for prospects of a better life in the future. We continue to live despite hard times because have something to hope for. If we can do this for our own lives, our own families, why not for our country?

Which is why I am amazed to witness the work of Gawad Kalinga -- a miracle that continues to unfold. It's definitely not a panacea for all our worries and troubles in the Philippines. It will take many generations, much hard work before we see our nation rise to glory, but the Gawad Kalinga reminds me of how people with a sincere love and passion for the welfare of our country and a good cause can make a difference.

Recently, I met one of the visible faces of this Gawad Kalinga movement -- Dylan Wilk.

Dylan formerly led a luxurious life but gave it up to work full-time for Gawad Kalinga, to work with the poorest of the poor. He is really an inspiration not only for the many things he did in the name of Gawad Kalinga but simply for his heart -- a servant's heart that gives 100 percent or more to uplift the lives of the poorest of the poor.

Seeing him prods me to reassess myself. What have I done for my country? Why is this person, who is not Filipino by birth, even more loving and caring about my fellowmen, about the future of our nation? What goodness in our culture could he possibly see amid the never ending cycle of corruption and crime?

Sure, one could argue he has a Filipino wife and a child with Filipino heritage. But that came later on. His first love was with the movement. Listening to him speak from the heart, seeing his face glow with hope and joy for this beautiful cause, you would see how he really takes to heart the Gawad Kalinga motto "Less for self, more for others, enough for all."

Not all of us are called to be Dylans. Some of us are called to help in this cause through our respective professions and network. It may not be for Gawad Kalinga, it could be another movement, another awakening of the pride and honor we feel in our Filipino culture and heritage.

Just one baby step with the poor.
Just one hand to reach out to the needy.
Just one smile to make the unloved feel loved.

These "little" acts of love are exactly what makes all the difference in the world.

Let's be Filipino and help each other to rebuild our country.

Tayo na. We can change the world.



March-April Issue 2006
"BLINDED"

When I heard this story about the ''panalong'' comment of the
Philippine representative of Ms. International last year via an email
that was circulating among my Filipino friends, I plunged right on it.
I felt glad that despite the despondent events in the Philippines,
the heartbreaking stories of poverty, the seemingly endless vicious
cycle of corruption and political unrest, here was one incident of hope,
one incident that reflects the good in the Filipinos, the good of our culture.

According to the email, the Philippine candidate defended the role of
the Filipino nannies who went abroad, saying the nannies should not
be looked down but respected and valued as people to be proud of
because of the impact these nannies have in molding their charges
with well-meaning values.

But little did I know that the story was fiction. I later found out from
the organizers that there was no question and answer portion.
The Filipino candidate did say something during the beauty pageant
but it was not about Filipino nannies.

I was so moved by a rare story like this that I immediately decided to
write about it without full background check. And for that, I can only
have a remorseful heart and offer my apologies to the readers for
my mistake.
I was blinded by this eager-ness at discovering a heart-warming,
uplifting story like that. ''Chicken Soup for Soul''-like stories as this
was a good way to highlight something positive and hopeful about
the Filipinos especially amid tragic and dismal events befalling our
country such as coup attempts and calamities that have made our
country even poorer, the prospects of a bright future even bleaker.
Although the story of the beauty pageant was not true, my thoughts
and insights about the nannies and the value of their service for
posterity still hold true. I believe that the nannies are a great blessing
to their host countries as they are able to impart Filipino values and
are a good witness to the beauty of our culture. These nannies through
their noble works are taking care of the children, our blessed new
generation. It is this new generation that will carry on the torch of
valuing our Filipino heritage and culture.

Nannies may be a stark reminder of the shortcomings of our
country -- a symbolism of the teeming number of overseas foreign
workers who strive to give their families back home in the Philippines
better lives. At the same time, they could also serve as an inspiration
that we are doing good to others as we offer our service to our
foreign and Japanese friends here and bring more people to our faith --
to a life of prayers and hope for the future.

We can see the light if only we will chose to do so. It all depends on
how we see things.


January-February Issue 2006
NANNIES: FILIPINO LOVE IMPORTED

Filipinos equal nannies.

I did not exactly like this kind of perception because it seemed to be in a derogatory context. I felt that Filipinos could be credited for something other than going abroad to work as nannies.

The remark by our Filipino compatriot who won the crown in last year's Miss International beauty pageant, though, gave me something to ponder about. It gave me a strong wake-up call for myself, and perhaps other Filipinos as well, to take pride in the exodus of Filipino nannies into the world -- in the indescribably beautiful ''import'' we have in the persons of our nannies.

The story goes that during the final round of questioning, Miss Philippines Precious Lara Quigaman was asked how she would respond to the people in the world who typecast Filipinos as nannies.

Her answer was: ''I take no offense on being typecast as a nanny. But I do take offense that the educated people of the world have somehow denigrated the true sense and meaning of what a nanny is.''

She goes on to say: ''Let me tell you what she is. She is someone who gives more than she takes. She is someone you trust to look after the very people most precious to you - your child, the elderly, yourself.  She is the one who has made a living out of caring and loving other people.''

''So to those who have typecast us as nannies, thank you. It is a testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people. And for that, I am forever proud and grateful of my roots and culture.''

A testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people? So to those who have typecast us as nannies, thank you?

Wow! Panalo. Sugoi!

I wonder if I could have given such an answer had I been asked the same question.

Certainly, hearing that made me realize the obvious: Japan and other countries, which host a teeming number of Filipino overseas foreign workers, is not only ''importing'' Filipino work-force or their minds or their expertise. Most importantly, they are importing the Filipino culture, the culture of love, caring and sharing, the culture of a ''nanny'' -- which as Ms. Quigaman has described as ''someone you trust to look after the very people most precious to you - your child, the elderly, yourself.''

Although nannies do this for a living, they would not be able to do this if they themselves do not know how to love or to care.

Back home, we inherit from the elder generation all the values intrinsic to the Filipino culture -- bayanihan spirit, faith, importance of family, a sense of perseverance, and value of marriage and life.

It is, of course, unfortunate that unemployment and poverty in the Philippines continue to prompt many to take on jobs abroad as nannies, domestic helpers or low-paid migrant workers.

Away from the comfort of their warm, caring family, away from all things familiar, the nannies, most often married, leave their own homes and their own children and go take care of other children -- a heart-wrenching decision for mothers who must be so emotionally attached to their children.

They also face a lot of challenges here like facing discrimination, hardships of understanding a foreign language and culture, depression and at times, abuse.

It is not easy to be alone working in a foreign country.

It is all the more not easy to do what the nannies or domestic helpers do as they often become physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.

And yet, in the face of such realities and challenges, they persevere, they endure the sacrifice, they toil, they hope. And in the process, they never forget to smile and appreciate the good things in life -- and bring that smile and happiness to their charges as well.

Nannies, as part of the Filipino overseas foreign workers, are hailed as modern heroes by our Philippine government. But more than their contribution to our economy, thanks to their remittances, it is their hearts of loving and caring, of bringing joy into the lives of the families they are serving that should be the reason for hailing them as modern heroes.

As we face another new year ahead of us, may we keep in mind and take to heart what Ms. Quigaman has said. It is a beautiful way of looking at things.